I'm so Vain

Among the many exciting things I've been doing since arriving in Richmond, I've been working on turning the blog into a book.

You can read the book pdf here. It includes most of the blog posts, but none of the blog comments. Even so, it weighs in at over 200 pages. Eventually, I want to figure out how to include some or all of the comments into a version of the book, without turning it into a 1000 page epic tome.

When I'm finished editing the book, I'm going to publish it via Lulu.com. Lulu is an online, on-demand, vanity publisher. According to their website, the cost to publish a single copy of the "Captain's Blog" will be under $10, and there is no minimum order. I'm excited to order a copy and see how the quality of the printing is. It'll be pretty cool if it looks like a real book.

But one of the last things I want to do to complete the book, is to solicit recommendations to put on the back cover. You know, the blurbs that say something like, "Engrossing. Cap'n Scott is at the top of his writing game here. Distills an enormous amount of information into descriptions both portable and intriguing." (This is an actual blurb from the back cover of a book I'm holding in my hand.)

I'm sure that a ringing endorsement by a well respected celebrity like Admiral Amy, Grampa or Old Salty, is just what I need in order to turn the book into a best seller!

Hurricane Amy

I came up north to celebrate Grampa's 70th birthday earlier this week. (Happy B-day Grampa!) I combined it with a visit to the boat. It's been a beautiful week. I was planning on returning to Richmond today at the latest. But looking at the weather this morning I changed my mind.

Hanna isn't supposed to be a full blown hurricane when she reaches Baltimore, but they are predicting several inches of rain, 40mph winds and a significant storm surge. I've added some docklines, removed my bimini, topped off my batteries and water.

I also put my car in a parking garage. When Hurricane Isabel passed through a few years ago, there was some flooding. I was surprised how many very nice late model cars were flooded. What kind of dumbass leaves his car in a flood plane when a hurricane is coming? I can understand houses getting flooded, but a car? Especially when higher elevation in Fells Point is only a few blocks from the water.

I wasn't sure how Amy would react to my staying in Baltimore to watch over the boat for a few more days. We had been planning on going to First Friday in Richmond, playing tennis and shopping for a new bike Saturday, and then a "date night". When I called her this morning I wasn't sure which I should fear more, Hurricane Hanna on Saturday or Hurricane Amy when I returned to Richmond on Sunday.

Amy assured me that nothing more than a weak tropical depression would be passing through Richmond in my absence, and that it should clear up before my return.

Imagine

We were sitting on the back porch last night while Amy cooked her famous grilled pizza. Meanwhile, I pondered life in Virginia and the empty dog house in our backyard.

While sailing, I hoped that I would come upon someone giving away kittens. I wanted to adopt one as a boatmate and name it chum. But that never happened, which is a good thing, because our new landlord does not allow cats. He does however allow dogs under seven pounds. I don't want a dog. And Amy doesn't want a small dog. She wants a big one to protect the house.

So anyway, last night we decided to adopt an imaginary big dog. We decided on a lab, even though I don't like labs. (Sometimes you have to compromise.) We have yet to decide on a name for our imaginary dog. Let me know if you have any suggestions.

Amy the Artist

Back to the Future

This guy reminds me of Biff.

Boat owner claimed he was adjusting GPS

Gloucester car shop owner faces charge of homicide by boat - GloucesterTimes.com, Gloucester, MA

The Reasons' owner facing charges in fatal boat crash

D.J. Walsh leaves a hole in sailing community

SouthCoastToday.com: Regatta will be dedicated to former chairman Walsh

The Second Oldest Profession

$600 / 1br - Cozy Third Floor Apartment (Fells Point)

Reply to: hous-999999999@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-08-07, 8:06AM EDT

This apartment is located on one of the nicest blocks in Fells Point and features wood floors and exposed brick. It is a small apartment suitable for one person occupancy only. The bedroom's dimensions are 14x12 with a small closet. The kitchen and bath together are also 14x12.

There is a washer and dryer and storage space in the basement. Rent is $600/mo plus utilities. Cats are ok, but please no dogs. $600 security deposit.

Any St. at SomeOther St. google map yahoo map

* cats are OK - purrr
* Location: Fells Point
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

About once a year, I have to find new tenants for one of my apartments. I've perfected my apartment renting technique over the years. Craigslist and email make things a lot easier than when I first started.

Back then, I bought ads in newspapers and had to answer phone calls all day. As you can imagine, it can be hard to keep track of conversations and appointments with 20+ people over the span of a few days. No matter how organized I would start out, my notes inevitably turned into a mess and I would screw up something. With email, I have a written record of all my correspondence.

When I first started as a landlord, I tried a couple times to tell people that I was showing the apartment from say 10-2 on Saturday, and to just come on by. I learned quickly that this does not work. You have to treat each person as an individual, and "sell" the apartment to that person, as if no one else was interested in the apartment.

You also have to be ready to show the apartment when you place the ad. When someone responds to the ad, they are interested in, and thinking about renting the apartment. The next day, for whatever reason, they may not be so interested. I immediately start getting responses from the ad as soon as it is posted. I tell folks that I am at the apartment and they can come by now, or in the evening after work.

But I also like to schedule showings for Saturday morning. For this reason, I usually post the ad on a Thursday or Friday.

I schedule appointments a half hour apart. Typically, I'll have a half dozen people scheduled for Saturday morning. Inevitably someone will be late and I'll have to show the apartment to two people at the same time, violating my "sell to the individual" tenet. But what are you going to do?

About half the people who see the apartment will want to rent it. This time around, the first four people wanted to rent it. I asked them about the other apartments they were looking at. I got the sense that most of the apartments in the $600 price range are dumps. I take pretty good care of my apartments. The reason why I price this particular apartment so low, is that it is tiny. 350 square feet.

A lot of people who look at the apartment seem to think that if they fill out an application and everything checks out, I'm going to rent it to them. Not the case. If I have 18 people look at the apartment and nine want it, there are usually three people whom I would never rent the apartment to, three whom I'd be ok with as tenants, and three whom I really want to move in.

An example of someone whom I would never let move in, would be the guy who left four voice mails on my phone. One or two voice mails, ok. But after that, I've got the message that you are psycho, and you should have gotten the message that I'm not going to return your calls.

So anyway, I just signed a lease with the new tenant an hour ago. She's an elementary school teacher. I'm busy this week doing paint touch ups and minor repairs to the apartment before she moves in.

A friend once described landlording and prostitution as great gigs because "you sell it, but you still got it." The only problem is that in both professions, you really have to hustle. Or as Ross said, "You really do have to 'work' for those rental dollars."

In One Word or Less

I placed an ad last week on Craigslist to rent out one of my apartments that is empty. Amy and I bet on how many responses there would be to the ad. We decided on an over/under of 20. Amy took over, I took under. 25 people responded before I pulled the ad. I won't tell you what Amy won, but she was pretty happy with her prize.

This was the funniest response I got:

I'm interested in renting your studio. Please email me short or one-word
answers or call me at xxx-xxx-xxxx (Call xxx-xxx-xxxx from 8/7 to
8/10). My phone blocks all outgoing toll calls but can receive any call.
Appreciate!
Since I can't view and take measurements myself ( not in Baltimore
till mid August), could you kindly provide such crucial info to me? In
that way I won't need to bother you with viewing and will not delay
the renting process.
Once you provide the needed info, I can seal the deal.

Full address w/ zipcode?
House on slope?
Proximity to cemetery or mortuary?
Age of bldg?
Type of housing: Single house? Rowhouse? Multiple-unit bldg? Secured
apt. bldg?
Date last renovated: Kitchen? Bath?
Floor? Walls?
Square footage of apartment ?
Flooring of kitchen? Of bathroom?
Total # of floors?
Which level is unit on?
Avaib: Mid-size self defrosting fridge?
Microwave? Air-
conditioner? Modern tub?
Window covering? Wardrobe closet ?
Measurement of wardrobe closet(s)?
Of kitchen sink ?
Of bathroom sink ?
Of height of ceiling?
How many minutes to walk to nearest JH hospital shuttle bus stop?
Walk to large supermarket?
Any safety precautions (iron gate, alarm, surveillance camera, window
bars etc)
Lease requirement?
Move in from Aug 18th possible?
What does rent $600 include?
Pls send a picture of each room.


I thought the question "Proximity to cemetery or mortuary?" most intriguing. Would that be a good thing or bad? I would think dead people would make great neighbors. Quiet, trouble free. But I suppose someone might think otherwise. I thought about emailing that the house was haunted, and other joke answers. But I decided it wasn't worth the time, and answered the email with zero words.

Take Out the Garbage

Per Grampa's request, a new post. I don't have much to write about though. Spent yesterday cleaning one of the apartments after a tenant moved out. Had dinner at the Helmand in Baltimore and enjoyed sleeping in the air conditioned apartment last night. Looking forward to watching the Ravens pre-season game tonight.

Ominously, I received an email from Google stating that they've identified my blog as a potential "spam blog" and will shut it down in two weeks. The email had a link to request a review, but the link doesn't work. I'm trying to contact them, but they don't make it easy. So, if the blog disappears soon, you know why.

Pic is from a year ago when I had just bought the boat. Things don't look too much different, except for some wear and tear, and new rudders. But the boat is back in that same slip. One of the guys at the marina said they think the boat is like a homing pigeon to that slip.